Possibilities, a soft opening

Year of the Crone

Crone: the third form of the Goddess, represented as an old woman and said to symbolize maturity, wisdom, and the final stages of life or growth.

Year of COLOR 

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Book Girls Reading Challenge - States, Decades, Voyage; develop a better tracking system 

Quiltmaking - COLOR projects; follow my own inspiration; every morning; Fableism; Slodki is on my mind again 

Embroidery - finish both Dropcloth florals series; Words 2026 weekly challenge; Our Daily Thread monthly challenge  

Cooking - California, Mexican, Italian, Czech; gatherings to nurture body and spirit

Soulkeeping - full moons/intentions; keep a candle going; celebrate my personal special days; follow the turning circle, don't give up

Wardrobe - fanciful, zany, COLOR, comfort, bandannas

Homemaking - deep clean kitchen; spice rack redo; clean all windows and wash all curtains

Health - bike 3 miles x 6 days a week; longer walks in spring

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Looking Back

I only made 15 quilts and three mats this year, a huge drop from previous years' tallies.

I read 62 books, a similar number to earlier years.

I spent time in Boston this summer, for the first time in 5 years.  The travel experience was challenging but doable, and the visit with family was priceless.

I've started actively withdrawing from the racket of the world.  Less online time translates to more reading time and more stationary bike time and more studio time.

I'm reaching the point where I don't have much more to say. 

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An inventory

I completed a major bucket list item today! (**happy dance!!**)

I've been keeping a running lifetime inventory list of all the quilts I've ever made.  It got goofed up twice through the years because of data transfer to new PCs, but the tangled-up info was still there, just run together and jumbled up.  I've also kept a photo of every quilt I've made.  The pictures were roughly in consecutive order, but  all of the identifying names and dates had similarly been overlaid during the data transfers to be all the same name and date. (!!!) 

I've verrrry slowly been restoring both the inventory list and the photo file.  This has involved sorting and renaming and putting pics into folders and then finding the corresponding list entries and correcting those dates and names.  Very long-term project but I finally crossed the finish line!!!!

The inventory list has detail info about the name, size, completion date and destination of each quilt.  And it serves as an index to the photo files -- a record and picture of every single quilt now in order and identified!  My lifetime stats are:

    Quilts here at home: 138

    Gift quilts: 101

    Quilts sold: 186    

    Quilts donated:  515 

TOTAL QUILTS:         940

UFOs:                             10

Woohoo -- patting myself on the back big time for finally finishing this administrative task!  And I'm proud of my lifetime body of work!  This info isn't significant to anyone but me, but since both my  quiltmaking career and indeed my life span are both winding down I'm very excited to have this accountability :) 

Just a few more quilts left in me ...

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Enchantment 2024

 ENCHANT ~

1.  To subject to magical influence; bewitch

2.  To delight or captivate utterly; fascinate; charm

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In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary.

~ Aaron Rose ~

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Now is the time to pack a spiritual talisman, whatever it may be.  If you ever need to unpack it, it can symbolize that you're never alone.

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HOMEMAKING

Use pasta machine more often

Bake bagels, kouign amann, Dutch crunch bread, babka

Improve flower and herb gardens 

READING

Patricia Monaghan

Mary Oliver

Chateau

Dickens

Anne Tyler

QUILTMAKING

Bramble Blooms - April

Observatory - June

Cellophane Flowers - July

Felicity - December

Celestial Dream - bucket list

Logs and nickels -- scrappy stash reduction

Schoolhouse Sampler

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What next?

I've been doing a bit of inventory -- I currently have 6 tops waiting to be quilted and finished, and also 5 block sets that need to become quilts.

Of these 11 UFOs, eight were sew-alongs or block-of-the-month projects.  There's nothing wrong with any of them.  I was interested/excited when I began each one.  In general, I just got bored with them before the group experience was completed.  I'm thinking that the lesson to be learned here is that I get bogged down working on someone else's design at someone else's pace.  When I get inspired, I want to just dive in and go with my own flow of creativity. 

I need to adjust the way I am spending my creative time and make different choices about undertaking new projects.  

And make decisions about how many of these UFOs I'm actually ever going to finish.  I can't say my heart is in any of them, so they may all be doomed.

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Update: I jettisoned 3 tops and 1 block set.  So the UFO count currently stands at 3 tops, 4 block sets.  Feeling more free and clear.

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Friday

 One year ago today I got my diagnosis of Stage IV breast cancer, metastasized to my bones. Such a surprise!  One year along, I'm feeling better than I expected to, not 100% but hanging in there.  So far, the meds are doing what they're supposed to, with manageable side effects.  Each day is a treasure and a new adventure.  Life certainly is a strange journey.

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Looking Ahead

2023 POSSIBILITIES

Baking - bread, sweets, sourdough

Color - RSC23, studio decor

Embroidery - Dropcloth subscription series, daily stitch journal

Entertainment - try new pizzerias, Queen Mary, weekly excursions

Garden - scented geraniums, herbs, repot patio plants

Health - new glasses, yoga 

Home Improvement - replace front door, remove front hedge

Quilts - Glance, Practical Magic, Rain or Shine, Bougainvillea 

Reading - alphabet of new authors

Sew-alongs - Atlanta Garden, Lancaster Diamonds

Soulkeeping - dailiness, journal, sky gazing

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Looking Back

Well, 2022 has been an unusual year -- it brought me a surprising diagnosis of stage IV breast cancer. Medical stuff really overwhelms everything else.  Normal life is interrupted by external schedules and appointments and medication cycles, and after a while that's what becomes 'normal.'  Sigh.  So far, so good with treatment.  My bones are bad, my hair is sad, but otherwise: onward. 

The year turns.  The world continues, despite my struggles with loss of control. The grandkids are adorable and thriving.  We've been in this little house for nearly two years already -- that time has flown by!  We are cherishing time spent with family.

Of note, appreciable progress has been made with decluttering.  When we moved from the mountains, we downsized our home but did not downsize the STUFF that we brought along.  Finally this year it has been emotionally possible to let go of things from the past.  Each load that gets taken to the donation center feels like a triumph.  Life here is OK, adequate and safe, but very urban and impersonal -- not bad, just not friendly.  In any case, I've regained my equilibrium as a homemaker.  

I finished 21 quilts this year, and actually I'm surprised that it was that many.  Even when I have an idea or an inspiration, I lose momentum.  I would comment that while this slowdown is partly due to health issues, it is also very much related to aging in general: to a lessened sense of urgency and motivation, and to a different outlook about the present moment and the future.  Embroidery has become a convenient way for me to fill time and spend creative energy -- I do enjoy having color in my life.  As my final 2022 tally, I only have 5 tops and 2 block sets remaining in my quiltmaking UFO queue.  With increasing frequency now I think about discontinuing blogging.  I feel like I don't have much to say anymore.  Still pondering that decision ... meanwhile still just going with the flow.

So: enough of 2022.

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And then ...

Sooooo, back in March I went for my annual physical exam.  Unfortunately, I got a call-back for my mammogram and an authorization for an abdominal CT scan.  This was completely unexpected -- I've had clean mammos for many years.  

This plunged me into a period of testing and appointments that finally resulted in a diagnosis of invasive lobular breast cancer, metastatic Stage IV.  In addition to the primary tumor and adjacent lymph node involvement, I have numerous bone lesions.  No other organ involvement has been discovered at this time, but my bones are not in great shape.  The discomfort I've been attributing to old age and arthritis has actually been bone deterioration. 

To make a long story short, I am now in treatment, and will be for the rest of my life.  The outlook is actually fairly good.  Great advances have been taking place with breast cancer treatment, and the combination of meds I'm on suggest the hope of quite a few years ahead of me.  The meds are mind-bogglingly expensive -- one of the prescriptions costs out at $13,500 a month (!!!) which translates to a $3000 a month responsibility for us -- but we've worked through all the assistance channels and have qualified to receive that one from the manufacturer for FREE.  (Which would tell us something about $$$ in the pharmaceutical industry.)  Our health insurance is excellent and almost everything else has been covered so far, just an odd $5 co-pay here and there.

I was relieved to learn that I will not be undergoing a mastectomy to remove the original tumor and lymph glands.  The purpose for removing a tumor would be to prevent cancer cells from spreading but that horse is already out of the barn so to speak.  Instead, the med combination I've been started on is systemic, meaning it should work on the cancer cells everywhere throughout my body.  I will never be "cured" but I can expect that things will be "managed" for quite a while.

I've just completed the first cycle of treatment and I'm in the 'off' week right now.  Yes, there are side effects, but I keep getting strong reassurances from the various doctors about the benefits outweighing the side effects.  So far, so good. It will take a couple more cycles, another couple of months, before we can expect to see (hopefully good) results. 

I'm grateful that this turned out to be breast cancer, which has many treatment options, rather than another kind of cancer with more limited possibilities.  I'm very grateful that we moved down from the mountains when we did and live just a few minutes from excellent medical care -- up there, we would have been facing a 90-minute drive each way every time I needed a test or appointment or treatment, which turns out to be almost every day.  I'm grateful for our medical insurance.  I'm extremely grateful for the top-notch care team that I've been lucky enough to connect with.  I'm immeasurably grateful for my family, who are surrounding me with love and care.

I'm feeling good right now.  That will change eventually, but I'm old anyway, and expectations at this end of life are different than they would have been earlier.  Onward from here into the unknown ...  

 

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Looking Ahead

1.   Currently three sew-alongs on my 2022 agenda:

         American Stars - Barbara Brackman

         Feathers - Alison Glass

         Potluck - Sentimental Stitches 

2.   I will also begin Rainbow Scrap Challenge 2022 in January, although I don't usually make it all the way through to the end of the year

3.   Simple Abundance Revised, Sarah Ban Breathnach

4.   Cooking and baking

5.   Walk more, be strong

6.   Garden redo: explore 'grotto' and 'butterfly garden' ideas

7.   Lots of embroidery!  Just signed up for Creativebug

8.   Empty out garage -- more downsizing

9.   Continue wardrobe transition -- whimsical vs. practical, inspiration HERE and HERE  

10.  Master a brand-new skill?

11.  Travel?  Aaah, maybe ...

12.  Relax, be joyful, be silly 

 

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Looking Back

The global pandemic continued to rage throughout 2021, but vaccines offered hope, and now I probably won't die from Covid.  National political events continued to be horrifying and surreal.  I've exceeded my emotional capacity with it all and no longer watch the news. 

     

In 2021 we bought another house, and moved again, for the second time in six months -- exhausting and draining both physically and spiritually.  This house is comfortable and safe and has close proximity to family, making it very appropriate for the next phase of our life.   I made 37 quilts this year, which is somewhat less than my usual output, but under the circumstances not a bad number.   I welcomed a new grandson, Leo.  I thoroughly enjoyed having Nick, Stacey and Rhiannon stay with us for an extended visit during November -- we hadn't seen them for more than 2 years.

All year I've actively been trying to let go of the past, both by weeding down our excess of physical belongings, and also by setting aside rituals and lifestyle elements that are no longer relevant to me.  More work to do in both areas!

2021 was an extremely challenging year for me -- for all of us -- and I'm not confident that the future holds the promise of much improvement.  The external factors, anyway, aren't going to get better any time soon.  Sigh.  I'm just appreciating what I have these days, making the best of it all, and embracing the present moment.  My view of life has distilled.  I discover that I'm more resilient than I'd given myself credit for.

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Settling In to the New Year

I've been developing plans for my quilt-making year. Yesterday was a good mail day!  Two packages arrived  -- I'd been hopefully looking forward to both of them. 

The first package was the background yardage for my very-long-term Celestial Dream applique project -- many yards of blue skies!  This is a medallion-style quilt,  and the first phase will be the large center sunshine motif.  Now that I have the blues, I can begin choosing yellow fabrics for the sun.

I also received two new patterns that I plan to work on as the year goes along. Both are complex pieced quilts, and both are shown in vivid color palettes.  Brightness seems to be the focus of my creative attention is these days. 

 I will probably start Boho Heart first.  It's a Jen Kingwell pattern,  and I really enjoyed doing her Gypsy Wife, Steampunk, and Long Time Gone quilts in previous years.  Following her patterns is like solving a puzzle -- lots of looking at the picture and figuring out what is supposed to go where.  The intricate piecing will be a good change of pace from the sunshine-y applique.

In addition to the long-term projects,  I'll continue to work on quick activities which will be targeted toward making donation quilts.  I'll use my own Rainbow Connection color of choice and/or the Rainbow Scrap Challenge 2021 color of the month for these efforts.  For January, both assigned colors are coincidently pink, so that must be the universe telling me that I need to finish up that raspberry top I pieced before Christmas, rather than let it turn into a UFO.  😉

And I'm still puttering along with embroidery during evening TV time.  Lots to keep me occupied in the coming months!

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Finale

A couple of last-minute UFO completions to report!

This scrappy bullseye quilt was started about a year ago.

 It's now quilted, bound and ready to go.

And this quirky pieced quilt, a variation of Jen Kingwell's Bakers Dozen, has been simmering for several years.  It's also quilted, bound, and ready to be used.

In 2020 I made 37 quilts and 9 mats.  I'm surprised that I got this many done -- it hasn't felt like a productive year.  I have 6 tops waiting to be quilted and finished, and 8 block sets in varying stages of incompleteness.  None of these UFO projects are older than 2019, so the gap is closing!!!  

Onward to 2021!

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The Spiral Path

 The path is a spiral.  We go up, but we go in circles. 

 Each time around the view gets a little wider.

I am reminded of just how much a spiral the authentic journey is when I get stuck in a set of circumstances from which escape seems impossible.  When this occurs, I need to ask "What's the lesson here, so that I can move on?" 

So I start again.  Begin at the beginning.  Make Gratitude an active rather than a passive prayer, consciously bring Simplicity and Order to my daily round, honor moments of being rather than doing.

Even if I can't change my outside circumstances, I can change how I react to them.

~ Sarah Ban Breathnach ~

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The life we want is not merely the one we have chosen and made.  

It is the one we must be choosing and making.

~ Wendell Berry ~

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UFO Inventory Part 2

A continuation of my previous post:

Here are my UFO block sets that need to be

 assembled and finished.

Hospital Sketches

Burgoyne Surrounded

Oak Grove

Countdown to Christmas

Warm Hearts

Blue and Brown Sampler

30s Sampler

Plum Rail Fence

Vintage Dresden Plates

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UFO Inventory Part 1

I haven't been particularly inspired to start any new quilt projects lately, but I have been slowly chipping away at my UFO backlog.  I've completed several of them in the past month or so, and decided to identify and document the remaining assortment. I'm approaching this in two phases: tops ready to be finished, and block sets that need further attention.

Here is my UFO Flimsies/Tops queue, in no particular order --  (whew, lotsa piecing here!!) 

Hope's Journey

PolkaPolkaPolka

Dashed Hopes

Candlelight

Equinox

Stars In Her Crown

Bottom Line

Parlor

Autumn lotto blocks

Bakers Dozen

Ella Maria Deacon

Tomorrow I'll list the block sets.

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Looking Ahead ...

Woohoo -- a new year!  I'm brimming with ideas and inspirations, so many possibilities!

Sew-alongs ~
Cheddarback -- we're on Month 11 of 14, so this one is approaching the finish line
Ella Maria Deacon -- ongoing and quite challenging, a long ways to go on this one
RSC -- annual color/scrapbuster challenge, beginning again in January with green
Yankee Notions -- Barbara Brackman's latest Civil War themed BOM, this one will offer pieced blocks
Blockheads III -- 56 blocks being presented weekly by Moda Fabrics designers
Pieces From the Past -- 20 blocks with a 1930s theme
Cassandra's Circle -- another Barbara Brackman Civil War themed BOM, this one will feature applique blocks

And notes regarding some of my aspirations for the coming year, just thinking out loud here ~
1.    Work down scraps, and at least try to maintain order in sewing room (!!!)
2,    Develop a UFO plan of attack  -- balance finishes w/ new starts
3.    These need more work: hand applique, Spanish, rye bread baking
4.    Continue monthly donation quilt, also participate with lotto blocks
6.    Enjoy cooking and baking, especially work healthy and aim for '20 in 20'
7.    Designate daily meditation and reading time
8.    Wardrobe style -- aprons/smocks?  My wardrobe has definitely lapsed into "convenient and comfortable mode", needs some sparking up!  Cute article about being costumey HERE
9.    Make progress on bucket list, especially travel. Train trip to Boston this year?
10.  Look at the sky!

Master a new skill: paper piecing

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A Final Completion, and Looking Back

My last completion for 2019!  I started this project as a stash-buster in mid November, so it was actually done in relatively short time.  This quilt will be donated to
 Quilts Beyond Borders.

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In 2019 I made 32 quilts, 6 of which were small 'mat' size.  I have 16 UFOs waiting patiently for completion.  I donated 10 quilts to various charities this year. 

I welcomed a new grandchild, a girl this time!

I went through some medical drama, had two major surgeries, and spent a significant amount of time in the hospital.  I am much improved.

I lost 38 pounds while I was sick, but have regained 16.  Sigh.

I marked the passing of an old friend, reconnected with someone from my past, and made the acquaintance of two new neighbor families.

I travelled more than 10,000 miles by car, crossing the continent twice.  I visited three new states along the way, bringing my lifetime state total up to 44.

I improved my proficiency with hand applique, and my fluency with Spanish.

I crossed four items off of my Bucket List.
Still approximately a zillion to go.

I read 70 books.

I baked a lot of bread.

 I watched the birds and the stars.

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On My Inspiration Radar

It's been several months since I started a new project, and I'm daydreaming about possibilities. I have plenty of ideas, I just need to narrow them down.

I already have all of these books on hand, and I have more than enough stash selection to make any of these quilts.  (All of them, actually.)  I'll probably start with a pieced one, and then get going on an applique project as soon as I finish up Harvest Moon. 

Best of All, Beyond the Battlefield, Country Threads

Mrs. Lincoln, Vintage Legacies, Carol Hopkins

Twilight Visions, Beyond the Battlefield, 

Country Threads

Little Blue River, Vintage Legacies, Carol Hopkins

Love Letters, Quilts of Love and Valor, Becky Wright

Warm Hearts, Warm Hearts, Blackbird Designs 

(I especially like this dark colorway 

by Kay Harmon, 2010)

Star Garden, Timeless Traditions, Norma Whaley

The Raven, The Raven, Blackbird Designs

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2018 - Looking Back

My outlook is serene as 2018 draws to a close.  I began the year feeling anxious and unhappy about some life circumstances, but I have been able to make peace with some of it, and to let go of another part.   I've tried all year to shift to my attention to living in the moment, and that has improved my spirit.  National news continues to be appalling, but I've been limiting my consumption, and that helps my mood also.

I had a clear mammogram, a good colonoscopy, a root canal and new crown, and new eyeglasses this year.

I 'finalized' 42 quilts in 2018 ... but to qualify that number, 12 of them departed from my universe as tops.  My UFO backlog was uncomfortable in the early part of the year, so I did a purge and donated the 12 tops with accompanying backs to Patches of Love.  I also worked diligently at finishing up several other UFOs, so my current UFO tally stands at 14 -- reduced the number by more than half, much better!!

Of the remaining 30 quilts that I completed this year, 5 were table mat/doll size, and the others were lap or queen.  See them all HERE if you'd like :)  In addition to the donated 12 tops I mentioned above, I also donated 11 completed quilts in 2018, and gifted 3 to grandkids.

I'm safe and comfortable and loved, and aging as well as can be hoped.  One of the joys of growing older has been becoming a grandma.  I adore our two little guys, and can't wait for our new granddaughter to arrive in February.

I'm making plans for the coming year, and I'm looking forward to 2019!

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