Wednesday, February 5, 2025

Wednesday

Today I'm grieving the loss of some relationships.

I've begun to find enough poise of spirit to be able to ask them -- real people in my life, not just interwebs analysts and pundits -- why was this a choice?  Can you explain it to me?  Even if I can't possibly agree with that choice, I'm hoping I can at least learn what the other perspective was.  But I never do get a real thought-out logical answer, just blithering and an endless loop of excuses. 

 What did I miss? What don't I understand? Was it about money, was it about power, was it about revenge for a perceived wrong ... or was it always only about hate, misogyny, racism? 

I'm furiously angry most of the time now, but I don't want to have my own spirit turn dark and ugly and become filled with hate and blame and vengeance. I want to find quietness of heart. I need to make some kind peace between myself and the world before I die.

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My phlebotomists and I shared a tearful moment this afternoon when I went in for my bloodwork.

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Protests around the country today, hopefully only the beginning. 

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 Antithesis: direct opposite; parts set in opposition or contrast

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