Today I'm grieving the loss of some relationships.
I've begun to find enough poise of spirit to be able to ask -- real people in my life, not just interwebs analysts and pundits -- why was this a choice? Can you explain it to me? Even if I can't possibly agree with that choice, I'm hoping I can at least learn what the other perspective was. But I never do get any real thought-out logical answers, just blithering and an endless loop of excuses.
What did I miss? What don't I understand? Was it about money, was it about power, was it about revenge for a perceived wrong ... or was it always only about hate, misogyny, racism?
I'm furiously angry most of the time now, but I don't want to have my own spirit turn dark and ugly and become filled with hate and blame and vengeance. I want to find quietness of heart. I need to make some kind peace between myself and the world before I die.
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My phlebotomists and I shared a tearful moment this afternoon when I went in for my bloodwork. Unexpected connections.
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Protests around the country today, hopefully only the beginning.
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Antithesis: direct opposite; parts set in opposition or contrast
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2 comments:
I don't have the answers, but I can tell you that you are not wrong. I am essentially a shut in because of Multiple Chemical Sensitivity so I can't ask anyone in person. The contacts I have chosen for myself over the years have remained true and strong, others not so much. Two of the three children are strong in our beliefs as well. To me, "woke" finally means being an educated person who tries to find answer when they do not understand. That is a good thing. What I have decided is I was busy raising my three children when others were plotting to make us all believe whatever it is that they believe. I remember Nixon and Watergate. I remember the sick feeling in my stomach when Ronald Reagan was elected to office. I could not identify it but what it eventually meant was so many of the guardrails that were serving us well (laws because there were those who want to take advantage rather than offer a product or service) were removed and it has continued on that side of the aisle until we have what we do today. Chaos and a desire for "A Christian Democracy" with smaller government. All just words to cover the rich getting richer at the expense of the whole. My ancestry includes 4 from the Mayflower passenger list and I can tell anyone who says we must be a Christian country that the Mayflower arrived for the freedom to choose. Can you tell I have been thinking a lot and sharing only a bit of my concerns?
Yes, all pertinent questions....but no good answers...
hugs, Julierose
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